A while back, I received an email from a reader that I wasn’t immediately sure how to answer. I still think about it often. A blog visitor wrote to me, pleading for help but convinced his situation was already hopeless.
He was a father, working a part-time online job he hated for a “propagandist news service.” He said he felt stuck, with “no $ to spend,” and was desperately looking for his “niche.”
His language was a textbook case of self-sabotage. He joked that maybe his niche was “a subscription website that points out what is wrong… which nobody really wants to pay for.”
He ended with: “sadly I’m not your ideal customer as I don’t have any disposable income… I won’t be offended if you don’t have time…”
The truth is, I know this exact feeling TOO WELL… That feeling of treading water, but unconsciously feeling like nothing you do is actually working. Always entranced by the promise of something great once you “make it,” but never actually realizing the “thing” itself. You try a hundred different things, whether it’s post a hundred YouTube videos, contact a hundred leads, write a hundred blog articles, record a hundred podcasts, read a hundred books, or whatever… But still not get the traction you were hoping for.
I’ll be brutally honest with you: when I wrote my recent book “Unlimit,” my goal was to get on the Oprah Winfrey show. I launched two successful pre-launch campaigns, and had the mainstream publishers and agents interested… and then, NOTHING. Weeks of delays became months of excuses, stalling and inaction. The “interested” publishers stopped returning my emails. The momentum I built fizzled out. Some agents promised that they would get me a big publisher, and then sent a proposal for $25,000 upfront just for simple editing and pitching.
Eventually, I had to come to grips with the fact that I’d almost inevitably be self-publishing yet again… despite visualizing myself as a successful, mainstream author.
Then I went to Japan, where I spoke at a couple of events… I shared the stage with Ken Honda, the famous Zen money coach of “Happy Money.” He shared with me that he receives $1 per book sale, to the tune of nine million copies sold.
When I returned to Thailand and prepared to launch my book, the realization suddenly hit me like a TON OF BRICKS. Nine million copies… Will I ever sell that many books in my entire lifetime, no matter how much I write?
Who am I kidding? The imposter syndrome took over, and took the joy and motivation out of my work completely. If all of my best efforts couldn’t get the result I want, then surely doing NOTHING could get the same result, while saving myself all of the time, effort, cost, and disappointment?
The thing is, I know all too well the things that hold people back in life… Because I deal with all the same things myself.
But here’s the secret: You’re only a failure when you consign yourself as one. When the isolation, the self-doubt, the “story” you tell yourself about why you can’t succeed becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You lose the moment you start to believe your limits are real. That your circumstances are fixed. The moment you stop believing in yourself and your ability to transcend those circumstances and create something great — often from the ashes of abject “failure.”
The truth is, I’ve worn many labels over the course of my life. I am or have been a writer, a marketer, a growth hacker, a designer, an entrepreneur, a freelancer, an author, a podcaster, a blogger, a YouTuber, an influencer, an agency owner, a traveler, a backpacker, a digital nomad, an adventurer, a speaker, a salesman, a promoter, an event organizer, a retreat host, a golfer, a surfer, a calisthenics athlete, a soldier, a platoon leader, and many more… all combined into one person.
There’s no reason for any of us to compare our success in one field in life to others, because we all have unique talents and journeys that we take. We can, however, tap into these unique gifts and circumstances and make the most of them… so that we come out the other side in a way that fulfills us.
And you know the REALLY cool thing? Every time I overcame that feeling of being inadequate, that “imposter syndrome,” my COMEBACK was more powerful than before. My personal rejection of “not being enough” fueled the fire and helped me evolve to the NEXT LEVEL of my growth, and accomplish more than I could have even given myself credit for.
And it’s the same for you too. So, if you feel stuck at this moment – just know, your best days are still in the future. The lulls in your life are only temporary. We are here to support you and help you reach that next level, together.